Thank you for visiting this Fred Friswold memorial website.
Please consider reading two books about Fred made available within this site. The first book is in Fred’s own words and is called “Reflections.” It shares Fred’s take on his life and experiences.
The second book is a collection of writings from others “to Fred” and “about Fred” and is called “Remembrances.” The first chapter of “Remembrances” recaps Fred’s life and is also included below.
With Loving Memory,
Marie and the Friswold Family
Early Years and Adult at 11
Growing Up Fred
Fred Ravndal Friswold was born to the parents of Ingolf (Ink) Friswold and Derrice (Anderson) Friswold. His older brother, Paul, and younger sister, Kris, were a big part of his growing up – as were the times he spent with family and grandparents in Minneapolis and at the farms of Cooperstown and Lake Vermillion in North Dakota. Fred’s Father, Ink, became the first Superintendent of Eden Prairie school (later Cyndie, Steve and Barry attended – and Cyndie became Principal) and then moved on to be a teacher at an army school in London. Following that, Ink worked on school construction and building compliance for the State of Minnesota and also served at the U of M. (The U must have been passed down in the family blood somehow!). Ink’s parents were from Norway and spoke Norwegian when they didn’t want the kids to know what they were saying. Seval Friswold also wrote a first-hand account of being an immigrant in the United States. He proudly signed his memoir, Sevel Friswold “A Working Man.” He recounts the family name changing from Frisvold with a “v” to Friswold with a “w” at Ellis Island. On Fred’s Mother’s side (Derrice Anderson Friswold), they also had Norwegian ancestry, so it is no wonder Fred loved lefse and other bland white foods flavored primarily with butter! Derrice’s father was a seven-term US Congressman from Minnesota’s town of Lanesboro. As a lawyer, he later became General Council at General Mills. In looking up the family heritage on both sides, it appears that both “hard work” and “smarts” were in Fred’s bloodline.
Early life for Fred included city living and a bit of street life in their two homes at 5108 29thAvenue and 2521 Pillsbury Avenue in Minneapolis Minnesota. Fred rode the bus, hopped on street cars, and bicycled all around; the city was his backyard. He remembered some rough and tumble encounters with neighborhood kids. Once, he spent all his money at the state fair with his brother Paul and ended up having to walk home (a several hours nighttime journey). Summers away to play with cousins on the farm in Cooperstown and at the Dunvilla resort were great distractions from city life and instilled lasting memories. During those times, Fred enjoyed hanging out with the Grinnell cousins – getting into moments of trouble and being an outdoor adventurer. On a less pleasant note, Fred recounted that he hit “Adulthood at 11.” His grandparents had died early or were in poor health – and his brother was a tough kid (later diagnosed with Schizophrenia) – when his parents were in a terrible car crash. It wasn’t clear that either of his parents would survive. With a brother not in position to take care of himself, yet alone others, Fred realized he would need to care for his younger sister. He said “I did some deep soul searching, and finally concluded that if our parents died, I would have to take responsibility for Kris and figure out the rest later. Just a concept, no plan. That was the day I became an adult, with responsibility for the outcome of both our lives. A lot of responsibility for an eleven-year-old.”
Fortunately, both parents lived and returned home after many months of rehabilitation. But the imprint on Fred’s psyche had been made. He said that he learned two things with that early family experience. First, was there are uncontrollable events in life (like a car accident) over which we have no control – life is a crap shoot! Second, was that he needed to be self-reliant. He needed to take on the task of managing his own life without the expectation that anyone else would help him out. That attitude shaped the rest of his life. For better or worse, it made it more difficult to rely on others or take help from them. However, it also eliminated the possibility of blaming others for his misdeeds, mistakes, or circumstances.
Early Values and Life Impacts
Fred shared that his life and values were impacted by three organizations he was exposed to as a youth: Church, Cub Scouts, and the YMCA.
Church:
“Church (Methodist) experiences got me into thinking about the meaning of life and what I wanted to do with mine. It didn’t give me a lot of ready-made answers but put me on a track to seek them out.” Later in life he said, “I’m not a conventional Christian believer, but I think Christ was ‘right –on’ and my values reflect his teachings.” He added “It’s great to have some regular time for reflection. There is no certainty to the answers church provides but reflecting on them helps us in making choices and living our lives with values and activities in synch. Great music, meaningful sermons, and good fellowship make for a rewarding experience on Sunday mornings.”
Scouts:
Scouts was a big deal to Fred for a time. Fred’s Mom, Derrice, was also a Scout Master for a while. He enjoyed getting badges and rising from a Cub to a Webelo. But when the family moved from 29thAvenue to Pillsbury Avenue, it was a hard transition for Fred. He stopped going to Scouts, and he lost some important connections. The richer kids from Kenwood wanted little to do with him. He started hanging out with some rough local kids with more of a broken home culture, and he took up smoking (not a good ending to this story). The cops knew him by name, and that wasn’t a good thing, either. In spite of that reputation, Fred credited Scouts for keeping him firmly on the right track in the long run.
YMCA (“The Y” as Fred and most of us know it):
Fred lost his connections and direction when they lived at Pillsbury Avenue, and he started attending Jefferson High. Luckily, his father had a friend at the Y, who got him into going to Camp St. Croix for several summers. At camp, Fred transformed himself from being a weak and thin “Minnow” to an advanced swimmer. He gained the strength, skill, and confidence that would later lead him to being certified in SCUBA and master boat instructor at Wildwood. Over the course of his life, Fred moved from a coming-of-age novice to a master outdoorsman. In Fred’s words, he says “They are ‘Coming of Age’ activities – one positive step led to another. That’s how successful lives are built.”
A Friend of Bill:
Smoking and drinking were a big part of Fred’s early years, and unfortunately, they had lifelong impacts. He remembers smoking when he was 11 years old. He quit again when he got to high school, but he picked up smoking up again when in college and they were “giving cigarette samples to incoming freshmen and it seemed like the grown-up thing to do.” After graduation, he smoked a pack to 1 ½ packs each day until he was 44. In 1980, Fred quit drinking after attending a 6-week chemical dependency program. There he became a lifetime “friend of Bill.” He felt he was a better man for having alcohol out of his life and had plenty to accomplish without it complicating matters. The following year, he also quit smoking and never turned back. Unfortunately, bad decisions during youth led to permanent damage in later years. COPD, a paralyzed right diaphragm, and lung cancer ended up getting the best of Fred at age 83.
Early Work Life and Onward
Just Out of College
Fred started working at a small, no-name company, upon graduating from the University of Minnesota. Getting that job was very serendipitous and turned into a 32-year career at J.M. Dain (and the mergers/acquisitions and expansion that followed). Without a specific career focus yet, Fred ended up in an “informational interview” sitting when he was invited to interview at Dain with a man named Henry Norton (head of research) and a gentleman named Wheelock Whitney. Wheelock apparently had a vision and leadership style to transform Dain from a blue-collar, local brokerage firm into a full-service investment banking firm. Fred said their “Secret Weapon” was Wheelock – a man with an Ivy League background, but able to navigate the politics when Minneapolis was known for being one of the most anti-Semitic cities in America at the time.
Wheelock, Henry, and the team all knew the land and also knew that they had to work “harder and smarter.” Fred started work during his senior year at the University of Minnesota and left 32 years later when Dain was an industry powerhouse. During Fred’s time at Dain, they acquired and expanded in the market. Part of the growth and success was attributable to the grit, strategy, and intelligence of the full leadership team. But Fred said that success took a winding path…
Analyzing companies was a way to understand the key competitive success of organizations. Fred was originally hired as a research analyst – a great job for a guy that read 49 classics one summer and enjoyed understanding the who, what, where, when, and why of an organization. Fred had a passion for digging into the details and ended up partnering with Dale Olseth in Dain’s Research Department. As a solid pair, they were a force that moved Dain from the back burner to the front burner with their astute research and understanding of multiple industries. Fred thought of Dale as an “unpretentious chap with a warm demeanor and a good educational background.” Fred and Dale were known as the “go to guys” for anyone in the world that wanted to know about companies in their backyard. They were unsung heroes and a dynamic duo. Harold Olsen soon became the lead of their small department, and together they were a great team to grow the business. Wheelock Whitney and Merrill Cohen continued to be strategy leaders and get them in doors, while Fred and Dale were the “data smarts” to drive the growth. Fred said that Dain became “known as a good team player that more than carried our weight by providing research, trading, and relationship management on behalf of both partners. This was a winning strategy and enhanced our standing and participations with Wall Street firms.”
“Dain became ‘known as a good team player that more than carried our weight by providing research, trading, and relationship management on behalf of both partners. This was a winning strategy and enhanced our standing and participations with Wall Street Firms.'”
Growing Dain to a $2 Billion organization in new financings, coupled with $3 Billion or more in municipal financing in 1990 was “Not bad for country boys starting from scratch,” Fred liked to joke.
More than Smarts – In addition to research and intelligence, Fred also relied on instinct and integrity. He once “fired” a top client. In spite of a sure bet to make some money in a deal involving a mortgage banking subsidiary (MBS), something didn’t feel right, and Fred ended their dealings. It was a tough decision, but he won senior backing. In 1989, Fred’s decision was celebrated when the Lincoln Savings & Loan went broke. It turns out a group of US Senators, later dubbed “The Keating Five,” were uncovered for their illicit involvement; Keating also ended up pleading guilty to several charges. While the mess cost the US government over $3 Billion and left 23,000 investors with worthless bonds, every bond Dain sold paid off 100% and Dain, along with its customers, completely missed the Lincoln Savings & Loan debacle.
Later at Dain, Wheelock promoted Fred, along with Tom Dale, to co-manage the branch office system. What started out as perhaps a harebrained idea, turned out to be a huge success. Fred and Tom both had strengths other than managing branches, so it wasn’t initially clear that this path would work. Both men, however, invested in developing skills not yet under their belt, and it paid off. Fred, Tom, along with people like Dick McFarland and many other talented leaders helped Dain grow over the years. Later, Fred became President and CEO. At one point in the company’s evolution, the firm evolved into Dain Bosworth and was held by a holding company called Inter-Regional Financial Group (IFG). In spite of the inherent volatility in the business, Dain continued to achieve significant rates of return for IFG. Again, as Fred liked to say, “Not bad for a couple country boys.”
How to Handle Retirement? Buy a Company!
After 32 years, timing was right to leave Dain. Fred called it retirement, but he liked to say retirement “didn’t take” the first time, so he became a management consultant. Fred later purchased Tonka Equipment Company – a manufacturer of customized drinking water treatment systems for small to mid-size municipalities. Fred had another partner in these endeavors, named Tom Davis. The two of them worked very closely and it was a collaborative and successful partnership. They moved the company from a struggling entity into a national leader, one strong enough to weather two recessions while maintaining profitability and a positive workplace for its employees. Tom once told Fred “That positive attitude of yours soaked into our culture and eventually it was in our DNA.” Fred valued Tom as much as Tom valued him, and they both enjoyed reaping the fruits of their labor. As they built the company up, Fred sought the inputs of each and every employee. He saw every person as critical to the business and invested in them. Sharing the success and profitability made Fred happy. As part of his employee investment, Fred put a 401(k) program together so that everyone felt engaged, committed, and rewarded in return for their contributions. He knew that other small business owners don’t always invest as much in their people, and owners are often more inclined to skim more off the top for themselves. But that wasn’t Fred. He got fulfillment by seeing everyone win and everyone succeed.
University of Minnesota – A Heartfelt Mission
As a fraternity man at the University of Minnesota, Fred met a sorority gal named Marie Martin. They married and had their first of five children, Cyndie, before Marie took her senior exams. That didn’t stop either Marie or Fred from finishing – and so the Friswold Family began. Well, there were some courting rituals, of course, before kids came along. Apparently one of those rituals was meeting in the parking lot behind the Marie’s sorority for a kiss. The Frat Boys had no curfew like that of the “proper” sorority sisters. Marie had to be a bit sneaky about heading out after 10pm to share a kiss with Fred. Ever since those early days, Marie and Fred have formed a lasting partnership (married 63 years in 2020) and have continued their involvement in U of M activities. Beyond fostering Marie and Fred’s relationship, the U gave them lasting friendships that they have cherished and maintained over the course of time.
Besides lasting friendships and finding a beautiful wife, Fred served in a number of strategic and volunteer positions at the U. He worked with six different university presidents – each with different personalities and strengths. Sometime in 1985 while President of Dain Bosworth, he was asked by the CEO of Inter-Regional Finance Group (IFG) to join the alumni association board (UMAA). Fred agreed, thinking that a quarterly meeting was something he could handle. Thus began a 35-year odyssey of volunteer service. Under one of the administrations, a new policy forced the UMAA and University Medical Foundation (UMF) to find new homes. With this news, Fred found himself partnering with his old buddy, Dale Olseth, and one of his fraternity best friends, Larry Laukka. It took 10 years to get all the necessary approvals, but the idea to build an alumni center was born. Part of the success relied on getting the UMF and UMAA to cooperate with each other. With that, Fred said “a new era of respect and cooperation began.” Building a new alumni center was an important part of the new era. The Gateway Alumni Center was successfully built and is now teaming with activity and events. One publication said it not only serves as offices for UMAA and UMF, but it is also the #1 Minnesota booking venue for weddings.
While the Gateway Center is probably the most visual and physical symbol of Fred’s contributions, he served in many other ways. Fred didn’t seek the spotlight, but found himself gravitating to large, complex, financial, and strategic projects. He led projects to restructure the investment portfolio, raise money for the UMF, and rejuvenate the University Greek system. Fred was also involved in building the Regents Plaza and Scholar’s Walk, renovation and expansion of the Scholar’s Walk, and building the President’s Wall to honor past University Presidents. In 2019, Fred’s activities started winding down and he began passing the batons on many fronts. That was also the year that university named its first woman President, Joan Gabel. Fred fully supported her, saying “it is time for a woman.” Fred also has worked with some key partners in improvements to the Regents and the Regent selection process. In Fred’s words, “The first four new Regents are in place, and there will be four more next year. If we can get strong leadership, we’ll have an environment in which Joan Gabel can thrive.” In early January 2020, the doctor’s gave Fred his terminal cancer diagnosis. Following that news, he continued to make calls on behalf of the university, join online meetings, attend events (such as a Naples Florida event for President Joan Gabel), and work on Board of Regents strategies.
Fred lit up with interest, enthusiasm, and passion on “all things U” even into his last months. Education was one of Fred’s most deeply held values. He called working with and for the U for 35 years his “tar baby” but really it was a “labor of love.”
In recognition for the extraordinary commitment to the University, Fred, along with his buddy Larry Laukka, were honored with granite blocks etched with their images on the Scholar’s Walk just outside the Gateway Center. It was the first ever award given to individuals for their outstanding volunteerism and dedication to the university.
Family, Sports, and Activity
Fred and Marie made a great team and raised their family as aligned partners. Cyndie was born in 1958, Steven in 1960, Barry in 1962, Michelle in 1963, and Benjamin in 1971. Michelle was lost to Leukemia at the tender age of four, and it was devastating to everyone. Statistics show that there is high rate of divorce among couples that go through such a tragedy, but Fred and Marie, along with the kids managed to not let it ruin them. That doesn’t mean the loss, grief, and anger didn’t have negative impacts, but they managed to survive the devastation. Michelle’s photos still show prominently in the family home, and her name continues to come up in conversation as a valued member of the family. Her memory and the love for her are lasting.
The early Friswold family days were spent in Richfield, but the family soon outgrew the double bungalow where Fred’s Mom living in the other half. The expanded family led them to build a house in Edina. Cyndie, Steve, and Barry attended public school in Eden Prairie and Ben attended Edina West. All the kids were academic and also involved in sports and recreational activities. Summers were spent with a group of other families at Wildwood on Round Lake in Hayward, Wisconsin. Sports and outdoor activities have been an integral part of the Friswold family lifestyle, and Fred was often the leader in such activities and certainly a playful participant. Fred and the family enjoyed playing tennis, swimming, golf, soccer, running, cross-country skiing, boot hockey, horseback riding, water skiing, and downhill skiing. Fred was known to break (muck) the cross-country ski path in the fresh snow near the Birkebeiner Trail located a short distance from the cabin.
According to son, Ben, Fred had a special approach to both tennis and golf. He says that Fred may have coined the words, “Not pretty, but effective,” in response to a poor golf shot that got a lucky bounce. Fred’s tennis game epitomized the saying and drove Dad’s friends crazy. He’d strut away with a victorious swagger, even when his tennis strokes with that oversized Wilson Extra were, perhaps, “less than fluid.” (Side note – Fred’s golf putting stroke was the exception in his life – it was both ugly and ineffective! Ben reflects on a life lesson learned from Dad by saying “While there was much beauty in your life as well, you taught us substance was more important than style.” That was Fred!)
Fred remained physically active as long as he could before he passed away. He swam in their Florida pool almost to the end of his life. When the hospice nurse said he didn’t need to get exercise anymore, he didn’t quite understand why he would stop as long as he was able. To Fred, exercise wasn’t a burden. Rather, being in the sunshine, feeling the water, and swimming back and forth was exhilarating and fulfilling.
Fred also loved cards and board games of all varieties. He was extremely sharp at bridge. His partner bridge game with Marie was formidable. He and Marie were also lifelong Cribbage junkies. They carried their travel cribbage board with them on trips for over 63 years, and they taught a host of friends how to play Cross-Crib. Fred’s mental acuity and strength with numbers no doubt helped him as a card player. For Fred, playing cards and games were good not just for the mind, but also just a lot of fun.
Sports and games connected Fred to his family. He was always eager to play with Marie, the kids, friends, and – most certainly – the grandchildren. Even if not playing himself, Fred encouraged and supported others. He loved to watch the grandkids play lacrosse, hockey, or whatever the activity was. Even as his lungs failed him, it was not uncommon to find Fred standing in a cold hockey arena or on the lacrosse sidelines on a misty afternoon. His enthusiasm and pride in the grandchildren were contagious. It was hard to keep him away.
Travel, Cultures, & Adventure
Travel and adventure have also been a strong part of the Friswold Family. Fred and Marie’s partnership as noted earlier were evident in this part of the family life as well. They both enjoyed travel immensely, led the family on many trips, and encouraged the kids to travel as well. In the earliest years, some of the first family trips were to the Badlands of South Dakota and up north to summer on Big Sand Lake. Fred took Marie to Mexico while the kids were still young, and that desire to keep seeing and exploring became a lifelong passion.
As the Friswold children got older, the family ventured out on a Winnebago trip to Canada, skied the mountains in Montana and Colorado, and started traveling to further places. Cyndie was an AFS exchange student in Turkey and later studied in Spain. Barry was a Rotary Exchange student with a family in Finland; later he studied in the Middle East, Italy, Mexico, and Costa Rica. Fresh out of college, Steve lived in Norway and later lived many years in Sweden. Moving on to the next generation, Steve’s kids are happy spending summers in Sweden and Montenegro. Steve’s oldest son, Alec, and Cyndie’s son, Julian, both studied in Sweden. Travel has been important to Fred, and he has passed that value on to the family.
One of the most memorable family trips for Fred was the adventure the family took to the 1994 Olympics in Lillehammer. Fred recalled “The highlight of our winter experiences. Steve was living in Stockholm – and Marie and I decided to take the now adult ‘kids’ to the Olympics in Lillehammer. We arranged tickets to a half-dozen events and rented a farmhouse in a nearby town. (The family moved to the basement, leaving the rest of the house to the Friswold Family).” Living on a farm in the snow-covered mountains, attending Olympic events, immersing the family in Norwegian cultural festivities, and reconnecting with Norwegian relatives was really a magical, once-in-a lifetime, experience.
As the family expanded, travels started to include spouses and grandchildren. Fred jokingly asked “how would you like it if we spent some of your inheritance on a family trip?” To celebrate their 50th anniversary, Fred and Marie rented a beachfront house for 17 adults and grandchildren in Hilton Head, South Carolina. In celebration of their 60th anniversary, 18 Friswolds spent Christmas at a resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. There was never a lot of pomp and circumstance around the trips. They were simply adventurous, fun, and a provided quality family time.
While it is hard to single out one trip over another, one last trip worth mentioning is Fred’s visit to Africa with some of the grandchildren. Even though his health was slipping, he was absolutely convinced of the importance of such a historic trip for the teenage boys to experience Africa – such a different culture and the important roots of our human ancestry. Steve’s oldest boys, Alec and Eric, along with Ben’s oldest boy, Trygve, traveled with Marie and Fred on the adventure. Steve also accompanied the mission as their able-bodied companion. Fred ensured that the trip not only included fun and safari adventure, but also a good mix of history, as well as exposure to different economic circumstances and cultures. As part of his planning, Fred arranged for the boys to see and interact at local YMCA clubs where they observed firsthand the important role the YMCA plays in the development of local African youth.
For Fred, travel was not just a diversion from everyday routines. Travel provided a time for adventure, athleticism, and education. Travel provided an opportunity to expand one’s horizons, obtain knowledge, and explore different cultures. It both expanded the individual and made the world become smaller at the same time. With all this in mind, bringing the boys to Africa was one of his brightest moments, giving him immeasurable pleasure.
Norwegian Heritage, Being and Immigrant, and Ongoing Connections
Fred called himself “an immigrant” and was proud of his Norwegian heritage. All of his grandparents immigrated from Norway, and several spoke Norwegian at home. That connection followed him all his years. Growing up in a house where the adults would speak Norwegian when they didn’t want the kids to know what they were talking about was just one of many influences that made Fred identify as a Norwegian. Carrying that with him made him happy to make a donation later in life to the Norway House in Minneapolis. Over the years, the family visited Norway on several occasions and had Norwegian relatives also visit the family in the United States. Consistent with Fred’s Norwegian heritage, he was donned in a Viking warrior hat one year during his indoctrination as the President of the Minneapolis Rotary Club. His fellow Rotarians played up to Fred’s heritage with an entire Viking themed ceremony. While a lot of fun, there was also some deep meaning to being Norwegian for Fred. He identified with a strong immigrant spirit, and he had great appreciation for the grit it took someone to pick up and establish a new life in another country. He also had a profound appreciation for the tremendous contributions that immigrants make to the collective life, economy, and culture of America. In one of Fred’s reflections, he notes that “The American dream for immigrants is for their children to have the opportunities offered by America – freedom and a better life. Immigrants built our railroads, highways, and steel mills. Now their educated children are starting companies, working in our businesses, providing health care services, and contributing to the nation’s welfare.”
When Fred’s oldest son, Steve, graduated from high school, he and a friend spent a summer traveling Europe and ended up visiting a family relative, Aunt Hansina, in Stavanger, Norway. This was the first and very important connection made that led to a lasting kinship across the pond between the distant Norwegian heritage family stock and the American Friswolds. Steve met a number of relatives, and the kinship circle grew. Steve’s visit set the stage for his return to Norway after college when he worked as a bartender at the SAS Hotel in Oslo. He connected with all the Ravndal relatives, including Else Marie (Ravndal) Hognestad
Johnson in Tonsberg. That year (1982) son Barry was studying in Jerusalem and joined Steve and two of their college friends for Christmas in Tonsberg. They became friends with Else Marie’s family – including husband Jonas (now deceased), and children Cecilia, Kjetil, and Sunniva. All the Friswold second-generation family members have now traveled to Norway and met their generation of cousins. Sunniva (now Johnsen Fisknes) and her family joined the Friswolds in Minnesota for Christmas in 2018. What an intergenerational blessing that was! She was joined by her husband Gjert, and children Mie, Ella, and Ine.
Fred fondly remembered meeting other Ravndals in Stavanger on one of many trips the family took to Norway. There they met Turid and Nils Maseidvag (now deceased). Interestingly, Fred notes that the Friswolds all met their son Finn when Steve and Barry brought him home for Thanksgiving as a fellow student at St. Olaf – the family didn’t learn until later that his mother was a Ravndal. Finn’s siblings are Marit and Torunn. They also met relatives in Algaard, Norway; the curtains Fred and Marie picked up while visiting still hang in the loft at the Friswold cabin. The log cabin home is fondly nicknamed “Ravndal” after the family farm from where Fred’s great grandmother, Christine Ravndal, emigrated.
Fred sometimes asserted that the next generations of Friswolds are more Swedish than Norwegian. Steve’s wife, Aisha, grew up in Sweden and family members travel there regularly – as well as to Montenegro where her family roots originated. Steve and Aisha’s children all are fluent in Swedish and a Slavic dialect. Steve and Aisha’s son, Alec, did a college internship semester in Gothenburg. Cyndie’s son, Julian, did a semester of college study in Stockholm. Fred notes also that Barry and Ben’s spouses have Puerto Rican and Jewish heritages, respectfully. As reflected in a plaque donated in tribute to Seval Frisvold at the Norway House in Minneapolis, Fred believed “our Norwegian heritage has largely come to an end with the grandchildren’s generation but has been an important factor in what got us all here.”
In one of Fred’s writings, he depicts a December 2019 visit where his Aunt Swannie’s family, the Grinnells, visited the Friswolds in Edina after Robin Grinnell passed away. Fred summarized the visit in an email to the Norwegian and US Grinnell cousins saying “It was a great time to gather a group of people with Ravndal blood in their veins. Our Friswold kids have all been to Norway and met many of the relatives there. Now [with this email] we have connected up with all the relevant Grinnells so my work is done. If you or family members get to the USA, our family members would love to see them. Please stay in touch with them.” In that same exchange, he shared a warm sentiment about the family heritage. He was connecting the dots in hope that new relationships would be made and that existing ones would remain strong. The Friswold children, Friswold grandchildren, the various families in Norway, and Grinnell family have reached out to one another and have made a commitment to keep the inter-continental ties alive and to pass on the proud heritage to the next generations. This connection made Fred especially proud and happy.
Wildwood – An Extended Family and Magical Place
The Friswolds built a log cabin on a lake in Hayward, Wisconsin, and life “Up North” was a big part of the Friswold family experience. The cabin is part of a group of families living in a lake community called Wildwood, located about three hours from Minneapolis. The community started when a number of households from Minneapolis purchased an old fishing resort on Big Round Lake. The cabins were rustic and basic. For many years, the whole property was communally owned. Ownership included a set of 12 cabins (mostly log cabins), a lodge, numerous boats, several rafts, a tennis court, and a sandy swimming beach. In the early 1980s, the property was partially subdivided to allow member families the opportunity to build their own cabins while still maintaining the essence of the shared Wildwood community. Growing up at Wildwood and raising a family provided a lifetime of fun, learning, and outdoor sports. Kids joked that they didn’t have just one set of parents, but many sets when it came to time at the lake. The whole Wildwood experience turned out to be an expanded and extended family that has lasted more than 50 years.
Wildwood was a happening place with its many families that were often accompanied by their friends and relatives. This exploding summer population really gave a feeling of “summer camp” as children could be heard and seen in every corner of the grounds. Marie reminds us that a picture hanging in the lodge displayed 54 kids at one time. Music played on the juke box in the lodge while kids played pool, ping pong, and other games. Kids mastered waterskiing and swimming. Frisbee throwing, baseball, tetherball, and volleyball were also popular. People played games of all sorts – including charades, Monopoly, Hearts, Cribbage, and dice. At dusk, Kick-the-Can became the game of choice. People hiked and explored the vast nearby forests. Families grilled meals over the community fire pit, and roasted smores to perfection over the embers as the nightfall settled in. Guitar music played and quiet voices could be heard singing or talking around the fire most nights. Days were sunny and summers were warm at Wildwood. All the kids became friends, sharing and playing together like a huge family of brothers and sisters. It was an amazing place to grow up, and it was not a place to be taken for granted. Wildwood life was an incredible experience for all those that had the chance to be part of it.
Like the Wildwood children, Fred also loved maximizing his time outdoors. He was like a kid, himself, when it came to tennis, waterskiing, and games. He was known for his boisterous voice and laughter on the tennis court. You always knew when Fred was playing tennis or some board game, as his deep, billowing tones echoed throughout the woods and across the water. He often drove the boat for full days and patiently helped many of the Wildwood children learn to ski. Perhaps it was Fred’s days as a YMCA camp counselor, or perhaps it was his forever youthful spirit, but it was clear that Fred came alive at Wildwood. He loved his time there, and he loved seeing (and facilitating) everyone partaking in the variety of fun activities.
Fred was deeply committed to the Wildwood community and tended to its success over the years. Community and celebration are perhaps the two pillars upon which Wildwood is built. Water, sports, game-playing, food, and being outdoors are the bricks that form its foundation. Family and friendship are likely the walls and roof that tie the structure all together. Some might view Wildwood as a risky or crazy social experiment, where a bunch of families are thrown together on an island (or a peninsula in this case) and told to “make a go of it!” In spite of challenges and changes over time that could have led to the community’s demise, it flourished. As of 2020, it continues to be a connected, thriving community. Time spent at Wildwood left a huge impact on those that experienced it. Where else could one frolic day & night all summer long – like one big summer camp? Where else could one build such lasting memories with a community people that seem like an expanded set of brothers and sisters? It was a magical place for kids, adults, and the whole family. Time at Wildwood was a huge part of the Friswold experience and a big piece of Fred’s legacy.
Education
Education was a very important theme in Fred’s life. The importance of educating everyone, especially women and women of color – both here in the US and globally – was still on his mind even into his last days. Fred spoke about education at the dinner table and in lingering conversations. Additionally, the pride he took in his family’s educational achievements was off the charts. Remember, this is a man that that in his youth read 49 classics one summer!
Fred was proud, but not pushy, about the Friswold children getting good grades. To him, life experiences, continuous learning, and trying one’s best were all parts of the comprehensive equation to a successful and a happy life. That didn’t mean he didn’t have high expectations, but there was a fuller context to those expectations. Fred’s Mom went to college without a lot of parental support of that endeavor, so Fred’s pride and support of daughter Cyndie’s undergraduate, post-graduate, and doctoral pursuits were bar none. He was thrilled at her educational achievements and beamed when he talked about her. Fred also took pride in his three sons – all obtaining their MBA degrees from Harvard, Boston University, and the University of Minnesota. He also spoke admiringly of Rabi Birgen’s intelligence and the bold risks she took in leaving Africa for an education in the United States. She came from a small village where education was a shared family value. Rabi and her husband, Nahashon, both obtained advanced degrees and are now raising three children in a household where a good education is important to them.
Before Fred’s passing, grandson, Alec Friswold, scored extremely well on his medical school exams. After being accepted into many top medical schools, Alec accepted his invitation from Harvard Medical School with a start date in Autumn 2020. Fred and Alec sat on the sofa and at the dining room table for hours in discussion about school, life, and the mundane. Whatever the conversation, Fred’s pride and excitement were subtle, yet strong. Ahead of Alec in the grandchildren order, Elysa and Julian had already made Fred proud and are both now doing well in the workforce. Eric is doing well at Northwestern in Chicago. Ben’s eldest, Althea, took advanced high school classes at a nearby college, and is now making plans to attend university at St. Andrews in Scotland. Fred and Marie have generously setup education accounts to help the grandkids. As part of their supportive efforts, they have made it a priority to celebrate in all the children and grandchildren graduation events. They have also taken multiple trips to visit the Birgen Family to celebrate graduation ceremonies for Jabob and Cindy, and Fred spoke happily about Jonathan Birgen’s educational ambitions. The younger grandchildren plans will undoubtedly unfold, and surely Fred will look over them as their proud grandfather.
Fred wrote thoughtful letters to some of the grandchildren over the years. Those letters were just between Fred and the person to whom they were intended, and they were written with pride from one generation to another. They were written with love and wisdom to both encourage and challenge. Fred’s pride in the grandchildren on the sports arena was also always clear, and he instilled a passion for the grandchildren to all give their best shot at their educational pursuits.
Fred wrote, “Education – the process of learning – is critically important in life. The opportunity to learn – and benefit from what we learn – is critical to a successful life – however one defines success. I learn new things every day, and I spend a lot of my time working in youth development and educational activities. What could be more rewarding!” At their winter home in Florida, Fred started volunteering as a mentor/teacher to 4th and 5th graders. He said it was fun to do and added, “It’s great to be a part of helping young people grow – especially those who start behind the 8 ball (my guys are largely poor, Hispanic, and speak English as a second language.) They voluntarily come for two additional hours of learning after the regular school day is over.”
Whether in the way Fred stayed involved in his activities at the University of Minnesota, in the educational pursuits of his own children, the educational endeavors of his grandchildren, or in the lives of strangers in Florida, education was in Fred’s DNA.
Ain’t We Lucky? There is Joy in Giving!
Fred never felt a sense of entitlement or self-adulation. Rather, he was a confident, wise man that worked hard to see the success of all. Fred was fiercely competitive at sports and games. While he was extremely competitive with himself in work and other professional areas, it was never at the cost of cohesion, respect, or dominance of others. In fact, at Tonka Equipment, he believed strongly that when everyone shared in the company’s success, it was a benefit to the whole company.
Around the dinner table growing up, Fred would often ask the Friswold children “what have you done for your country today?” And then he would await a reply from each person. His dinner question was a high ask of kids that had just run in the door after playing with friends, doing homework, or wrapping up daily sporting activities. Years later, Cyndie’s memory in response to Fred’s challenging dinner table question is “For those of us that know Fred, you know darn well you are not going to NOT have an answer!”
Several times over Christmas holidays, Fred and Marie organized the family to bring gifts to a local facility where people did not have all the economic opportunities or health advantages that the Friswolds did. The gesture wasn’t just an activity to just a drop off packages and leave. Rather, it was an evening of interaction. As awkward as that in-person volunteer experience was for the young Friswold children, Fred and Marie instilled the value of engagement and giving. In those moments, it was not just talking the talk about “loving thy neighbor,” and it was certainly more than just writing a check. It was about walking the walk and putting love into action; and those kinds of experiences left a lasting impact.
Fred was one of those people that gave of himself in many ways. In the patterns he led at home, church, work, and in the community, you could call his style “servant-leadership.” A servant-leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong. While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the “top of the pyramid,” servant leadership is different. A servant-leader shares power, puts the needs of others first, and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible. (www.greenleaf.org)
John F. Kennedy said, “For of those to whom much is given much is required.” And the Bible [Luke 12:48] says, “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” Fred wasn’t one to pontificate scriptures at others, but he quietly lived out a life of giving back. In a speech he gave to the community of Edina and again years later in speaking at his Rotary club, Fred used the phrase “Ain’t We Lucky?” At the Edina ecumenical service in 1988, Fred shared
“realities tell me that we have a mission in life which goes far beyond owning things, enjoying things, and getting comfortable. They tell me that it is okay to use my home and my community as a temporary haven, but not as a hideout. They tell me that individuals like us and communities like Edina have resources and capabilities that the rest of the world badly needs, and we have much to contribute.”
In a couple versions of “Ain’t We Lucky” that Fred delivered to his colleagues at Rotary over the years, he acknowledged the importance of hard work and education in the successful lives of his fellow Rotarians, but also added how they had also been graced with a certain amount of luck. Fred recalls personal tragedies like having his four-year old daughter die to Leukemia. That was nonsensical and hurt deeply. And he noted the unjust plight of black kids in Minneapolis that are at higher odds of incarceration than white kids, and he reflected on what it would be like to be the black man, George Floyd, who wrongfully died at the hands of a police officer. He thought about people that don’t live in good homes, don’t have books to read, or don’t have nurturing parents. He then turned those challenges around and reminded the listeners that some of the challenges of bad luck or circumstance are unavoidable – and then reminded his fellow Rotarians about how lucky they all are. Fred said:
“The challenges of bad luck are unavoidable, but we are lucky! We’ve been blessed with many gifts!
The persistence of the human spirit
Man’s ability to rise above the chaos around him
Our capacity to learn from the past
Our ability to compound the impact of knowledge and invention by sharing it with others
The spark of spirituality that extracts the goodness in our hearts
The moral outrage that motivates us to wipe out inequality and injustice
Our innate sense of fairness that calls us to action to help others less fortunate.
Every one of us is the beneficiary of the efforts of those who have gone before!
We all drink from wells that were dug by others
We are beneficiaries of the sacrifices our forbearers have made:
The teachers, the immigrants, the pioneers, the scientist, the soldiers who gave their lives
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Now we are digging the wells that future generations will drink from!
Those in this room have some additional good fortune.”
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After speaking about all the ways that the fortunate and lucky Rotarians have found to give back to the Minneapolis community, he added,
“As we were told two thousand years ago, ‘Truly I say to you, as you did to one of the least of these my brothers, you did to me.’ We have the greatest gift of all – the opportunity to serve our fellow man. Ain’t we lucky?”
Summary:
In summary, one could say Fred’s youth was scattered with some rough early childhood circumstances and he had to grow up fast. But strong early values he learned from family, Y, Scouts, and church put him on a path to success. He valued education. He felt very much like an immigrant and felt affinity for those that became successful with their own hard work, grit, and determination. At the same time, Fred also felt a strong sense of empathy for those that didn’t have the opportunities (and luck) he and others may have had. He had a strong conviction to help others. Fred appreciated the importance of the Y and other organizations that help teach skills, socialization, teamwork, and self-esteem. He understood and appreciated the importance of community. Fred honored a quiet and deep faith without the need to broadcast it. Fred had a strong analytical mind and was a lifelong learner. As a brilliant finance guy, he knew that his gifts were not all about giving money itself, but in helping organizations build and manage portfolio structures that were solid, successful, and lasting. Fred had a strong sense of humor and shared it freely. Fred had a strong sense of family and was a strong partner with Marie in making joint decisions when raising the children with love, fun, and intentionality. It was a real partnership.
Fred felt gratitude for all good things. He felt lucky and blessed for all he had been given and experienced. With that sense of gratitude, he gave back much to his family and to his community. For all Fred did and for all the influence he had on those of us that knew him, we are eternally grateful. We count ourselves equally lucky to have known Fred and to carry his memory and inspiration in our hearts forever. Ain’t we lucky?
Fred Friswold – A Man of Gratitude and Giving (1937-2020)